womp woomp woooomp ,

incompatible, it dont matter tho

cuz someones bound to hear my cry

speak out if you do

your not easy to find

is it possible, mr.loveable

is already in my life

right in front of my

or maybe your in disguise

who doesnt long for,

some one to hold

who knows how to love you

without being told

shouldnt i be excited ? its one week til my birthday nd honestly it feels like a burden. weird, i know. im usually like on top of my birthday. counting down tha days, planning a night out wid tha girls. but this year its my girls comin up to me askin what we gon do. i kinda feel like i wanna chill wid a bottle, by myself to celebrate. jus pass out in tha comfort of my room. like reading that last line over, its twisted. depressing, even. i dont know whats gotten into me. i dont even kno if i wanna go out for dinner. i mean, all i want is a few little things for it and i know im not going to get them. forexamp, a jeannies cake, a pack of like 50 blank cds, musiq soulchilds cd "onmyradio", and day26's cd "forever in a day". my dream gift would be if my mom surprised me wid a trip to saskatoon. i need to see my brothers face, yet for some reason he doesnt want to see us. he thinks its a burden for us to drive there and stay in a hotel and he doesnt want to do that to us. but honestly, it came to the point where seeing him will be doing more for me, than for him. i feel like just going there, and ignoring his wishes but how selfish would that be ? hopefully in the next 7 days something will happen. anything. good or bad. i just need a little texture in my life. it just feels so predictable and i hate being predictable. something to get my mind off of him would be nice. the one thing i want, is the one thing i cant have. lots of love.

hoolla,

xO.r