not bad meanin bad, but bad meanin good .

a verse is just a verse to me ,

i keep it generic but

these niggaz take it personally .

cuut cut, snip snipp .. ya hear that ? thats tha sound of me cuttin mad drama outta my life.

click click, beep beep .. ya hear that? thats tha sound of madd numbers gettin deleted outta my cell.

ahah , and in tha words of my lyrical idol biggie smalls, ' it feels stupendous, tremendous '. anywaays, i went to tyc on saturday night and literally everyone was there .. seriously, name one person nd they were probably there. it was preetty bumping , mad drama tho. were all dancin and suddenly i look over and this guy beside me starts bleeding outta his nose. like a fuckin water gun, that shit was comin out thick. sad thing was this guy was so confused. he was just a little white boy who didnt do anything, but mike v. fuckin popped him one. it was intense and i felt so bad cuz alla mikes homeboys like jordan, chris, reinelle nd all them other crazy asians starts circlin this guy. mike looked like he was ready to kill him and its probably cuz he bumped into him or something. lol pooor little white boy, im pretty sure one of his little friends` eyes were tearing up. ahah shit, i woulda shat my paants. ahhh , and i knew i would never live my yearbook quote down. "picture me rollin`" ahah wtf was wrong wid me ?! seriously, thats like my biggest regret and i hate hearing about it but sure enoough that night chris walks up to me and was like pissin himself like "PICTUURE ME ROLLIN AHAHAH THATS SO SERIOUS, FUCKIN HILARIOUS WOOW I SAW THAT." and later on "YOO RACHEL, IM PICTURIN YOU ROOLLIN HEY ?" ahaha fuuuuuuuuuck !! the only spliff i regret smokin is tha one i smoked right before i submitted my yearbook write up. so speakin of smokin spliffs, yesterday i talked to my brother on tha phone .. felt so good to hear him talk so positively about the future. the way he was spittin out bible versus` kinda scaryy, maybe even surreal. i guess, i need to see it for myself rather than hear it on the phone. maybe even need to put a face behind tha voice ?! id give anything to be 9 yrs old again, when he was 12 and life was just so blissful. i guess i just need to see it through, hopefully this whole "experience" (if you can even call it that) is over soon. and we can go back to being a little happy family. lord only knows how much i miss him. <3

hoolla ,

xO.r